This post’s a bit different, dealing with the ‘other’ side of my life. I started it a little while back but, as the last couple of days have been a bit ‘challenging’ it seemed like a good time to finish it.
Positive Mental Attitude, are you a glass half full or half empty person? Fortunately I’m a half full one. Good job really, let me explain.
I’ve already told you that I’m a carer. Ray had a very serious (don’t know if you can have an un-serious one but you know what I mean) brain haemorrhage in 1988, four days after his 38th birthday. I’ve been caring (if you can call it that) for him since then. His right arm’s paralysed, his walking and balance are not good and he has a lot of problems with speech and language. He’s also a type 1 diabetic therefore insulin dependent.
I’ve got Multiple Sclerosis. I was initially diagnosed with the relapse and remitting type. With that you can be perfectly OK and then, all of a sudden bits of you decide not to work. I’ve had left sided weakness so that I look very drunk when I try to walk and I’ve had periods when my eyes won’t talk to me or each other and amble about independently – horrible! Oh, and I was also exceptionally fat!!!
Five years ago the situation got so bad that I was unable to stand without holding on to something, or somebody! As a teacher the kid I was telling off would have to stand still because if I let go of them I’d have fallen over! They were very good about it 🙂
Anyway, I had walking sticks, a ‘blue badge’, the works and the prognosis for my MS was that it had moved into the secondary progressive phase. I had to take (very) early retirement on medical grounds.
The journey from there to here is for a different post, but back to the half full glass.
It may appear that my life now is completely normal with no health concerns. Good, because that’s how I look on it and how I want the rest of the world to as well.
However, if I’m totally honest, that isn’t quite true.
I still have some residual damage e.g. my balance isn’t great (and I got a bike????) I go through phases where bits of me still play up and bring on the fear of another attack. And I still have times when fatigue strikes.
To say fatigue is like tiredness is to say that flu is like a slight head cold. When it gets you, you know! I sleep for England when it gets me, 3 hours yesterday afternoon, 8 hours last night and I’m back off to bed soon.
But, when I’m not asleep, bring it on! I made myself train today. It wasn’t one of my best sessions but I did it and I’m proud of myself for doing so.
We’re a long time dead so why waste time practicing before we have to! I truly believe that Positive Mental Attitude has helped me get to where I am now. And yes, I will wear purple!