What a difference a weekend makes!

It’s a month since my last blog and I have to say I haven’t found it easy.

Ray’s doing really well. He’s still adamant he won’t drink again and I believe him. It shows how terrified we both were to have this result!

He’s a lot frailer though and he needs,and is accepting, a lot more help from me. He is also a LOT easier to live with!!!!

We’re due to have follow up from OT and Social Services soon.

But these things aren’t the problem. The problem has been me! I’ve been really struggling. Not eating properly. Not training properly and my eyes have kept leaking 😦

I find it very difficult to admit to these sorts of feelings. I’m the funny one who laughs everything off, twists things into a joke, puts on the ‘face’ etc.

But I started to realise the warning signs. I’ve had reactive depression in the past and began to be scared it was happening again.

As I put on Facebook “the first stage of solving a problem is acknowledging that it exists”

So …… I was considering going to the GP about that and clarifying some Ray stuff. Then I went to training and told Darryl how I was feeling (mega huge thing for Mrs KeepItAllHidden to do!)

That really helped as he got me to see how different this year has been from last year. How I need to have structure and control and I’d lost both. He got me starting to look at how I could regain them.

Poor sod has to look after my mental as well as physical health, fortunately he often knows me better than I do!!!!!!

So that was Thursday.

Friday I went to the gym and hammered my program, really pushed myself hard and could feel the results.

Saturday I was meeting Dawn to go to Darryl. Gym first and this time the kettlebells and boxing bag got it. We got to the studio and Darryl got me answering questions about kettlebells and demonstrating the swing. Fortunately I got them right. Then coffees and mutual off loading πŸ™‚

Sunday – The Westminster Mile race with Sweatshop Running Community. Lovely day with Hayley, Tony, Tim, Gary and Claire. Fastest runner did it in 4:22, amazing to watch. I took a little bit longer πŸ™‚ but I got a PB. Well, I would, I’ve never done a 1 mile race before!

At this point I need to apologise to everybody. When I entered for the race there was no mention of a medal and I’d resigned myself to not getting one. But we did. And it was an amazing medal that I went on and on and on about. I was even annoying myself (but it was nice!) When I got home I found I’d come 6th! (Ok, for women in my age group, but there were 12 of us!)

Monday, back to London for the BUPA 10k. Another beautiful, sunny day. Now I haven’t even walked 10k for the last couple of months ……. But it was OK. In fact it was more than OK. I was faster than last year. I knew I’d beaten my 5km split time and that was spurring me on but then I ran into a bit of a problem.

I was getting very concerned that my watch was measuring the course as longer than the markers (I wasn’t alone it turned out) and kept thinking about that. Then, when I went over the hour mark my brain seemed to stop working. I’d been so motivated by the idea of beating last year’s time and then I realised I couldn’t do it. My head dropped and I began walking more and more until ……… I realised there are 60 minutes in an hour, not the 80 I’d been doing my calculations on. Duh!!!!!

But that set me off again, and I really enjoyed it πŸ™‚

Then came the best bit, going to collect my bag and there were still LOADS of bags there!

And I got my medals πŸ™‚

Coffee and food with Russell, Kirstein and Amelia and a trip to M&M world for a present for Ray.

Got home and entered the ballot for the National Lottery 5 mile Anniversary run. I’ve done two distances of this year’s challenges done and I seem to be getting back to being me!!!!!!

Thanks to all the people mentioned here, you all helped (even if you didn’t know it!) x

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6 responses to “What a difference a weekend makes!”

  1. Gilly, I was only reading through old blogs in my inbox this morning, thinking about that you hadn’t posted for a while.

    I have to say well done all accounts, I know what its like to be Miss independent, but we have to let people in sometimes. With regards to the races, you did brilliant.

    Look forward to reading your next instalment, so glad things are calmer for you both xx

  2. Yeah for the weekends athletics events & the medals are lovely. Also yeah to telling Darryl how you feel & well done for recognising it. Glad things are good with Ray. xx

  3. Sounds a great weekend and hopefully this one will be a good laugh too! Its harder to manage just after the main crisis than when you are in the thick of it in action woman mode when you are calmly whacking problems away as though you were using a racket to praatice tennis using one of those machines that fires tennis balls at you at high speed. You have lots of fans Gill keep arranging things that feel good for your heart and soul. X

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