Why I am going to see my Member of Parliament

As you know, my partner is disabled. He had a brain haemorrhage 25 years ago which left him paralysed down one side and seriously damaged his brain leaving him with great difficulties with speaking and understanding.

He is also insulin dependent diabetic. He is incontinent. He has many other medical problems.

So, he cannot walk, he cannot talk, he cannot communicate, he cannot get in the bath or shower.

He does have falls (but cannot get up). He does have hypos ( but cannot recognise or treat them)

But never mind, we live in a welfare state. We all pay our taxes etc. and, should the worst happen (which trust me is this, not death) the state will look after us.

It is such a reassuring thought to know that.

So, rest assured that if you are ever in the position where you need someone to wash you, help dress you, test your blood sugars, administrate your medications and adjust the doses, prepare your meals, cut your food up so you can eat it, clean you, and the toilet, as necessary (ie after every use), deal with hypoglycaemic attacks that lead to coma, pick you up when you fall on the floor and are unable to move, deal with your head when it is split open, deal with your elbow when it breaks yet again from a fall ad osteoporosis, explain all tv programmes / events /medical appointments etc etc, try ad keep your spirits positive, fill out all your forms, arrange and accompany you to all appointmentsetc etc etc the state will be there to look after you.

After years of paying in the state will look at the long forms you have completed, consider the supporting evidence and decide that you need about one hour of help a day. (It takes longer than that to be shaved, have a shower and get dressed) And, because they know about these things, they award you the sum of £12.15 a week to cover your needs.

That is one of the reasons I am going to see my MP tomorrow and I’m not sleeping tonight!

Just realised that I should add I have no problem with the other parts of his benefits I.e. the money he gets to live on and the mobility allowance. It is only the care component I am complaining about …… And a few other things!

I’m going to give him the link to my blog and it will be interesting to see if he reads it.

I will be back!

18 responses to “Why I am going to see my Member of Parliament”

    • Not expecting much Sal, but I need to tell him what the reality is. I’m looking forward to telling him the bit about the disabled facilities grant …..

  1. I understand the frustration and the struggles and the no support when it is needed….. Hope he listens xxx

  2. There is little reassurance around for those (like Phil and myself) who are getting ‘older’. We can see the way things are going, with regard to getting help when the time comes, and it’s not looking pretty!
    We, referred to as the ‘post war baby boomers’, who have proved over the years to be hard working, reliable and conscientious, are increasingly being made to feel we are in the way, also the constant referrals to the fact that we will be living ‘longer’ is getting a bit much.
    Our parents. generation was the one which was called to war in 1939-45, and who, in many cases made the ultimate sacrifice! Our offspring, on the other hand….far from being in a position to support their ageing parents when the time comes, are facing the fact that Government will expect them to keep working until they are 70! If they were to stop before that for the care of a loved one – there is nothing on the table to help them, as you well know Gill. I have gone full circle with the arguement – possibilities (or lack of…) and I just wonder what we are all supposed to do next!
    Wishing you the very best of luck – hope your MP has his lugholes open today.
    I really don’t think his attention will be on the wander while YOU are there Gill. Good for you……tell it as it is! Thinking of you
    Jen xxx

  3. Thinking of you today & sending positive supportive thoughts. (i know it’s not really much or enough)

    You’ll do brilliantly, you have such a tough, inspirational, diplomatic character that I know you’ll get your point across very well.

    Go Gill xxxxxxx

  4. Tears in my eyes reading that Gill, hope you manage to get him to listen. Different sonaria Brought back many memories of my Mum 28 years ago as her Alzheimer’s progressed. She couldn’t,t talk, walk or feed herself. Doubly incontinent in what I can only describe as a living death.
    Social went in in the morning to wash and dress her and at night my sister and I took it in turns to help Dad get her in bed as it needed two people as she was a dead weight. On my nights Henry came with me to give. Dad a break and that wasn,t pleasant watching my husband having to help change her nappy. It was a two person job as she just fought against it.
    Eventually for her final year she was put into care as she,d gone in for respite and they called my dad in, I went with him, and they just said had we considered her going in full time as they didn’t,t realise how difficult it was with her. She wasn,t violent or anything. Dad agreed in the end and he used to go in every day to feed her.
    It was a difficult time and I can,t describe the relief I felt when she died a year later at 69 11 years after she was diagnosed. Just looked up and said you,re
    At peace now. Mum.
    Sorry to have gone on Gill, as do understand, think also its a lottery as to where you live. My uncle who had an accident in his car and was left paralysed and unable to communicate due to brain damage, his wife had help with him morning and night. They lived in Lincolnshire. Smaller population.

    The best of luck with it an hope you get to sleep tonight. Xx

  5. Go for it Gill! You deserve Something after all these years of fighting the system and caring for someone the way you have to. If ever you want to let off steam you know where I am

  6. Go girl.look him straight in the eye tell it exactly how it is. Dont take any bull shit. Im certain you wont and very best of luck. Thinking of you. See you at the gym! X

  7. speechless really Gill, the time of your “normal life” together was indeed short, and of course you were still young. In reality I feel for you as it is indeed the day to day help that Ray needs and you give, unconditionally; that apart from you being his partner for all these years, our NHS system was set up in 1949 to care for the people of Britain; and unfortunately now lets us down especially for those who have worked and paid their taxes – and who now need help in a more physical, caring way have been let down.

    I hope you win your appeal and I also hope that they realise you too are not the young girl who was able to do these daily tasks to help your partner and that you too could do with some help.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: