Today is wobble day!

Some of  you may think that I’m super confident, know exactly what I’m up to and never have any doubts etc.

If you’d like to continue to think of me in that way, skip the rest of this post!

Still there? Well here comes a bit of the truth …..

I blag my way through life but it doesn’t mean I don’t have the same insecurities as everybody else, and sometimes a lot more!

Most of the time these thoughts pop into my head singly and very easily get batted away.

Occasionally, though, they decide to hunt in packs, and then they make their way through the armour and rattle about inside my head. They’re clever, because they let you think you’ve dealt with them, they lie still and appear to be dead, then choose a moment to start their destructive wheedling.

So what are they? Let’s start with that old chestnut, body image.

Most of the time I feel quite good about me. I know what my body’s like now and I know how it used to be. I know my belly’s too big and wobbly but I also know that a lot of that is there because I was, effectively, pregnant with sextuplets for about 20 years and that things that have stretched that much will not go back to being taut!

So why is it that, when I put on something different (or sometimes in my usual stuff) and Ray looks at me and pulls a sort of “what do you look like?” face do I immediately feel my stomach churn and start to worry, even though I know he’s just winding me up?

On a similar note, what I’m going to wear for the marathon. I’m going to wear shorts. They are very long shorts and they are very comfortable but they’re a big change from my leggings that hold me together!

And my vest. I’ve now got my vest and I’m wearing it when training to make sure it’s comfortable. (Today I discovered it wasn’t, it rubs the inside of my arms but I’m working on a solution).

 

 

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back

I’m happy with the back of the vest, it does what I wanted although I wish I’d laid it out a bit better. Because I go off into my own little world when I’m out and about, I tend to forget that it’s there which is fine.

I also tend to forget that the front is there as well, but then I see people looking at it. Then I begin to imagine that they’re thinking “What’s she doing going along in that, she isn’t even running”, although I know that they’re not!

Which brings me on to the next bit.

There has been a comment made to me that I should not be doing the London Marathon. That I should not have taken the place and that they should only go to ‘proper’ runners.

That is from ONE person. Whereas I’ve lost count of the number of people who say well done, go for it, I couldn’t do it etc, etc. So why does that one person’s comment eat away at me?

Today my left knee and my right ankle were playing up. Or were they? Is it just my brain trying to get me to think about stopping?

I suppose the answer to all of this is because I’m human!

Well (draws in a deep breath, stands tall, shoulders back, core engaged) I am going to do this!

I have as much right to do this as anybody!

I have done the training.

My body and my mind are strong enough to do this!

Those little demons can sod off. They are not going to get me!!!!

Two weeks to go and then I’ll be part of the 1% of the population that has completed a marathon.

I will not be one of the people sitting on the sofa watching.

I will be out there, doing.

I will have raised money for a good cause.

I will have enjoyed myself and, whatever time I get I will be PROUD of it!!!

 

22 responses to “Today is wobble day!”

  1. Whoever said this

    *There has been a comment made to me that I should not be doing the London Marathon. That I should not have taken the place and that they should only go to ‘proper’ runners.*

    Tell them to go sod off…. to go somewhere out of *your space* where they can sit out of sight putting people into compartments of what they think individuals should and shouldn’t be doing.

    Judgemental know it alls do my head in

    You have earned your place in every marathon that is ever going to be held if you wish to join in with them

    YOU CAN DO THIS! We know it and you know it xxxx

  2. Those gremlins can be really nasty buggers when they start ganging up! I know only too well how one thoughtless comment, however innocently made, can start those gremlins doing a tapdance on your nerves. But you’re bigger than those gremlins Gill; you have the determination to do this tremendous feat and bury their mumblings under the certain knowledge than when you cross that finishing line you can truly say”I DID IT!!!” xx

  3. That’s the right attitude Gill, you go for it, I really admire you and your fantastic achievements x

  4. You know you have my full admiration for the the journey you have made. Many would have fallen by the wayside, and to many many people you are a true inspiration. There will always be one ignorant character who tactlessly judges and puts another person down – they often have not experienced real life and its trials. Just think about crossing that line Gill. Good on you for entering! x

  5. You are doing something wonderful and that many included myself would love to be able to do.

    If it wasn’t for people like you the London Marathon would not be what it is today, you deserve your place and I know you will feel wonderful when you cross the line.

    You have my full admiration Gill x

  6. Whoever said that to you, well that’s his agenda. Been thinking about you a lot lately and I think you are doing a fantastic job! What dedication and motivation you have. When this is all over I think you and me ought to team up for a race. Don’t panic we don’t have to run but we could do an easy tough mudder (if there is such a thing!) we would have a laugh, and a medal each. What could be better than that?

    • Ha ha ha. An EASY tough mudder? Love the idea! Suppose it was inevitable that I’d have a wobble at some point. Everybody else knew it except me!!!!! How are you getting on? Not long now :-/

  7. First off whoever said you shouldn’t be doing it should take a long walk off a short pier…the check of it. You go out there and do it for you and your charity.

    Second….I love the shirt 🙂

    Keep up the training and enjoy the day.

  8. Would the idiot who made that thoughtless comment say the same about Michael Watson who completed the course in 2003 taking a week to do it? He was the boxer who was told he would never walk again after being in a coma following the fight with Chris Eubank. However long it takes to do it, crossing that finish line is such an achievement. Much respect to you Gill.

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