A Multiple Sclerosis reminder :-(

Best weather of the year so far, and where am I? Lying on the bed, head raised because it’s the only place that I feel safe!

Everything seems to have calmed down at the moment, as long as I don’t move, so I thought I’d try and write down what’s been happening and how it makes me feel while I can and while I remember. I seem to have the ability to push these thoughts away and forget about them very quickly hence doing it now.

What is she on about you may wonder?

I didn’t feel took good when I got up this morning. Nothing I could put my finger on but I knew I wasn’t right. Thought it may be my cold (had that for about a week) and being overtired so I put my sensible head on (it only comes out occasionally) and sent my apologies to the meeting I was due to attend. 

I took the morning very gently, had a proper breakfast and took my time doing everything. I needed to get some shopping and wanted to train so gathered my stuff together and set off. 

Went to Rayleigh, got a few bits, then off to the gym. 

As soon as I entered the changing room I knew I wasn’t right and decided to leave. Back to the car and on to Sainsbury’s. 

Once I’d parked I got a shopping trolley and used that to help me as I walked across the car park. Do you remember me saying about needing something to ‘ground’ me? Well this time it was a trolley not a leaf!

I got all my shopping, as long as I was holding the trolley I was fine. A couple of times I let go and was disorientated but it wasn’t too bad. 

Sitting down I was fine, drove home without any problems, but as soon as I got out of the car I knew it was getting worse. 

Grabbed most of the shopping (not all the bottles of water!), straight past Ray, frozen stuff away, fridge stuff left on the side and straight to bed! 

[just changed position, sat up more, and had to wait 5 minutes for the world to stop moving before continuing 😠 ]

How to describe what is happening?

Well it is probably called vertigo.

I rarely drink and I do not like being drunk. I get motion sickness. I do not like fairground rides.  This is like all of those wrapped together!

Our house is set up with grab able surfaces everywhere so the journey to the bathroom’s relatively easy but the worst moments by far were the first two trips to the loo. I was sat there, holding on to the grab rail with all my strength whilst the whole room rotated and I was praying I wouldn’t be thrown to the floor. As this is all accompanied by a dodgy stomach this isn’t good news!

Caring for Ray, who I reckon is also on the autistic spectrum, meant I had to give him his shower part way through all this, but I now know he can wash his own feet!

He has, apart from that & getting me to make him coffee and food, been really sweet, even offering to lend me his quad stick!

Every time I moved it needed to be done slowly to try and stop the spinning. 

Gently lying down was fine, but if I closed my eyes the ‘helicoptering’ started 😦

It’s now about eight hours since the worst stage started and I’m feeling quite a bit better but not 100% yet. 

I decided to write this because I have this tactic of ignoring things I don’t like which means I can’t remember what has happened and the symptoms. 

This is exactly how the first MS attack affected me. Then it was scary because I didn’t know what it was. Now it’s scary because I do!!!!!!! I’m probably going to have a problem going to sleep tonight as I’ll be worried about which bits of me may decide not to work in the morning. This is the worst episode I’ve had in a long time …….. And it WILL be a one off!!!!!

So why did it happen?

I’ve probably been doing far too much over the last few weeks. 

The night before I  over reacted to something I’d normally take in my stride. 

I’ve been eating rubbish!!!!!

The weather suddenly got much warmer. 

I’ve had a stinking cold. 

Could be one, all, or none of the above! 

Whatever it is I want it gone by the morning as I’ve got a training session with Darryl and then I’m having my hair done!!!!

I’ve just realised that’s why I don’t like walking on uneven ground, it’s the same sensation!!!!

Felt loads better this morning.  Went to train with Darryl, doing the only sort of cleaning I do – barbell strength work, love it! 

After posting about this on Facebook a friend (who is also a personal trainer) suggested I watch this:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KLjgBLwH3Wc&feature=youtu.be

OMG! That could have been me saying that, all be it in a much simpler, less scientic way! 

This is how Darryl has encouraged me to eat for years now, and for years I have been well. 

I’ve just had the worst food intake period for years …… and I was ill!

If that doesn’t act as an incentive to get back on track I don’t know what will!!!!!

4 responses to “A Multiple Sclerosis reminder :-(”

  1. Hope you feel better soon Gill, I am sure the trigger was all of the above and your body saying whoa x

  2. You might want to keep this private but you have my permission to post it. I have taken most of the sentences below from your own post.

    Try tapping the side of your hand (karate chop point along the pinky edge) and say to yourself aloud or silently as you tap,

    * Even though this is exactly how the first MS attack affected me, I accept myself.. * Even though it was scary then because I didn’t know what it was, I accept myself. * Even though now it’s scary because I do know what it is, I accept myself * Even though I’m probably going to have a problem going to sleep tonight as I’ll be worried about which bits of me may decide not to work in the morning, I accept myself * Even though this is the worst episode I’ve had in a long time, I accept myself * Even though I’ve probably been doing far too much over the last few weeks, I accept myself * Even though I’ve been eating rubbish, I accept myself * Even though the weather suddenly got much warmer, I accept myself * Even though I’ve had a stinking cold * Even though I’ve got a training session with Darryl and then I’m having my hair done * Even though I’m really hard on myself, I accept myself anyway. * Even though I put a lot of pressure on myself to be well instead of taking the opportunity to learn about who I really am, I accept myself. I’m doing the best i can under the circumstances.

    Try tapping other points on your body as you go through some of the sentences- the top of your head, between your eyebrows, un outside side of the eyes, under your eyes, under your nose, under your lips, just below the collarbone and above your breast, and under your armpit on your torso.

    This may seem too much for you right now but do what you can. Do you feel any different? Some people will feel lighter, freer, easier about things.

    Let me know Mildred

    P.S. This is EFT or “Tapping”

    .

    !!!!!

    Even though.

    .

    Could be one, all, or none of the above!

    Whatever it is I want it gone by the morning as!!!!

  3. Hey Gill,
    Sucks that you’re feeling crappy. Hope you feel better by morning, if not before.

    Thanks for sharing- never having been through it, it’s interesting to know how it can present, and I guess different for everyone.
    It’s good if you can control your symptoms with diet and lifestyle choices, but horrible that you suffer so much for just slipping a bit.

    Hope you get back on track ok, and Ray isn’t too demanding until then!

    J x

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