Best weather of the year so far, and where am I? Lying on the bed, head raised because it’s the only place that I feel safe!
Everything seems to have calmed down at the moment, as long as I don’t move, so I thought I’d try and write down what’s been happening and how it makes me feel while I can and while I remember. I seem to have the ability to push these thoughts away and forget about them very quickly hence doing it now.
What is she on about you may wonder?
I didn’t feel took good when I got up this morning. Nothing I could put my finger on but I knew I wasn’t right. Thought it may be my cold (had that for about a week) and being overtired so I put my sensible head on (it only comes out occasionally) and sent my apologies to the meeting I was due to attend.
I took the morning very gently, had a proper breakfast and took my time doing everything. I needed to get some shopping and wanted to train so gathered my stuff together and set off.
Went to Rayleigh, got a few bits, then off to the gym.
As soon as I entered the changing room I knew I wasn’t right and decided to leave. Back to the car and on to Sainsbury’s.
Once I’d parked I got a shopping trolley and used that to help me as I walked across the car park. Do you remember me saying about needing something to ‘ground’ me? Well this time it was a trolley not a leaf!
I got all my shopping, as long as I was holding the trolley I was fine. A couple of times I let go and was disorientated but it wasn’t too bad.
Sitting down I was fine, drove home without any problems, but as soon as I got out of the car I knew it was getting worse.
Grabbed most of the shopping (not all the bottles of water!), straight past Ray, frozen stuff away, fridge stuff left on the side and straight to bed!
[just changed position, sat up more, and had to wait 5 minutes for the world to stop moving before continuing 😠 ]
How to describe what is happening?
Well it is probably called vertigo.
I rarely drink and I do not like being drunk. I get motion sickness. I do not like fairground rides. This is like all of those wrapped together!
Our house is set up with grab able surfaces everywhere so the journey to the bathroom’s relatively easy but the worst moments by far were the first two trips to the loo. I was sat there, holding on to the grab rail with all my strength whilst the whole room rotated and I was praying I wouldn’t be thrown to the floor. As this is all accompanied by a dodgy stomach this isn’t good news!
Caring for Ray, who I reckon is also on the autistic spectrum, meant I had to give him his shower part way through all this, but I now know he can wash his own feet!
He has, apart from that & getting me to make him coffee and food, been really sweet, even offering to lend me his quad stick!
Every time I moved it needed to be done slowly to try and stop the spinning.
Gently lying down was fine, but if I closed my eyes the ‘helicoptering’ started 😦
It’s now about eight hours since the worst stage started and I’m feeling quite a bit better but not 100% yet.
I decided to write this because I have this tactic of ignoring things I don’t like which means I can’t remember what has happened and the symptoms.
This is exactly how the first MS attack affected me. Then it was scary because I didn’t know what it was. Now it’s scary because I do!!!!!!! I’m probably going to have a problem going to sleep tonight as I’ll be worried about which bits of me may decide not to work in the morning. This is the worst episode I’ve had in a long time …….. And it WILL be a one off!!!!!
So why did it happen?
I’ve probably been doing far too much over the last few weeks.
The night before I over reacted to something I’d normally take in my stride.
I’ve been eating rubbish!!!!!
The weather suddenly got much warmer.
I’ve had a stinking cold.
Could be one, all, or none of the above!
Whatever it is I want it gone by the morning as I’ve got a training session with Darryl and then I’m having my hair done!!!!
I’ve just realised that’s why I don’t like walking on uneven ground, it’s the same sensation!!!!
Felt loads better this morning. Went to train with Darryl, doing the only sort of cleaning I do – barbell strength work, love it!
After posting about this on Facebook a friend (who is also a personal trainer) suggested I watch this:
OMG! That could have been me saying that, all be it in a much simpler, less scientic way!
This is how Darryl has encouraged me to eat for years now, and for years I have been well.
I’ve just had the worst food intake period for years …… and I was ill!
If that doesn’t act as an incentive to get back on track I don’t know what will!!!!!